Kindness, Bullying and Loss

I have been quiet on the blog this week (though there is much to update), and on Facebook, reduced to just hitting the “like” button.

A few years ago, in the early days of dating Brian, he introduced me to one of his very best friends. And so I got to know one of the most beautiful souls to walk this earth. She was intent on helping everyone she could, be it little furry animal, or big bald human. She was strong and tender, and hilariously funny, delightfully “inappropriate,” and tenderly intuitive. 

How deeply sad that we take care of others so well, and see ourselves as unworthy of that same kind of care and strength from our friends and family. We go through so much alone. Do you really think bullying only happens at school? I challenge you to rethink that. When will we learn to be kind? 

I am getting ready to leave for Marla’s wake. I didn’t know her half as long or as well as Brian, her sisters, her family. . . as immobile and heartbroken as I am, imagine what they must be going through, and then I beg you; be good to each other.

34 Comments Add yours

  1. I’m sorry for your loss (and theirs). Thanks for the reminder.

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    1. Thank you, sir. Your kind words are welcome and much appreciated.

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  2. John says:

    I’m sorry for you loss… sending Big Hugs from Colorado…

    May your memories help you find some peace among the storm of tears.

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  3. N Filbert says:

    very saddened to hear.

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  4. slpmartin says:

    Some live long and contribute little to this world, others race through existence like a shooting star and leave in their wake the finest of gifts and a life to celebrated…peace be with you and Brian.

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    1. Thank you, Charles. And peace also to you. True words. I have oft thought of the song “Fare Thee Well, My Bright Star,” by the Indigo girls.

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  5. So sad to hear this. Hugs.

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    1. Gratefully accepted and returning the hug boomerang. Thank you, Jennifer.

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  6. Colin says:

    Bullying breaks things in people. It’s not easy for those things to heal. They stay broken for a long time. I’m sorry to hear you lost a good friend.

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    1. Thank you for that, Colin. And may others hear the truth in your words and live so as to prevent that breaking. Your kind words are much appreciated, friend.

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  7. donwreford says:

    The West such as Britain and the Europeans, have a long history of bullying, check British press gangs 17th century, for you who think I am talking about the newspapers I am not, I am refer to people in Britain who are violently attacked and against their will are forced in to the British Navy, this is one example of many one can uses examples of bullying, it is a cultural inherited aspect.
    As Juesseppi, who is so well informed would verify that the beloved formation of America, the land of the free, knows many left Europe as a result of bullying in Europe.

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  8. Jane says:

    I’m sorry to hear this, too often it’s the fragile ones who are victimised when it is their fragility, and empathy, which makes the world a better place.

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  9. Condolences, David.

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    1. Thank you, dear Polly.

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  10. I’ve been sitting here trying to come up with the appropriately sincere words. They aren’t coming to me. Truly wishing you peace and comfort in your time of sadness.

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    1. That’s the trouble, right? There are no words for this, at least they don’t come quickly, not any good ones anyway, more like maple in the cold. . . it takes time. Thus I have written little in nearly a month. Poetry has started again for me though, so this is a good start. Thank you.

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  11. Sorry to hear about this loss, David. Rage, rage against the Bully, where He starts!

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    1. Thank you, my Emersonian friend! And this is one hell of a good Dylan Thomas reference. Thank you, sir!

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  12. ManicDdaily says:

    So so sorry to hear of your loss and the loss of Brian. Even when one doesn’t know someone so well, the loss of someone–especially someone young–is so very shaking. Hard to stay focused on what is important in life. Stay well. Thanks for your kindness. You have such wonderful seeming sons – at least from their pictures! They seem terribly charming and sweet and one can’t really fake that. k.

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    1. My boys are everything you said. Everything. 🙂 And we celebrated a birthday yesterday, so things are indeed better now. Thank you for caring, dear. Thank you.

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    2. ManicDdaily says:

      So nice. I have two daughters – how can one be so lucky! It is a kind of love and luck undreamed of as a young person. I am so glad that you have that warmth in your life. They look so charming in the pix. Take care, David. k.

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    3. Lucky we are, indeed. 🙂

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  13. My heart aches. How is Brian doing?? Stunned, overwhelmed, sad. You are a lovey father. I’m thinking of you guys. Yes, be tender with each other. I was thinking of something similar this week – yes, let’s be tender with each other. We never know what the person next to us in line at the grocery store is “holding.” Blessings, Lisa

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    1. Thank you, Lisa. We are coping. He’s doing better, he’s been back to work, and back to playing music and he’s thinking clear thoughts about making the most of every minute of this precious life. We both are, so I guess we are alright. And what a great thought about the grocery store. I have a poem idea about someone cutting me off in traffic that is very similar. xo. Thank you!

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    2. David, I know how this rocks our world — as a kiddo, as an adult, as a parent. Know that I”m thinking of you guys. Blessings of…comfort, sweetness, and love, Lisa

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    3. I really appreciate that, Lisa. Thank you.

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  14. Great writing, so happy to have found your site. AJM

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    1. Thank you so much, and thank you for visiting and commenting. Sorry for such long delayed response.

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  15. All my love to you both 😦 I’m sorry I didn’t get round to commenting sooner! I know this isn’t a poetry piece or what not but that bottom line just… Perfect! x

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    1. It is as close as I could get to poetry at the time. Doing more actual writing now. Back to the blogging bit very very shortly. Thank you, dear.

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